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Faces: a pet peeve
One of my pet peeves involves Christian publishers who are allergic to presenting faces of lesbian or gay Christians. There’s an old adage that you can’t judge a book by its cover. And for those who...
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Celibacy and martyrdom
Celibacy is, at times—though certainly not always—difficult and frustrating. This needs to be acknowledged. So, when I feel frustrated, when obedience gets tough, when I feel abandoned and alone, how...
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Wit and paradox
Over the last decade or so, I have had the chance to interact in one way or another with hundreds of men and women who are striving to be faithful to the traditional Christian teaching on...
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Spiritual friendship in 300 words
A friend of mine and I were recently discussing the difficulties of trying to explain the themes we discuss on this blog clearly and succinctly, in a way that does justice to the various aspects of the...
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What Does Genesis 2:18 Really Teach?
A frequently misinterpreted verse in the Bible is Genesis 2:18, where God says, “It is not good that the man should be alone” (ESV). From the immediate context, where God creates Eve as a helper for...
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It Gets Better for the Chaste, Too
Matthew Vines has assigned my book, Washed and Waiting: Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality, as one of the core texts of his new training program, The Reformation Project. Matthew...
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The Gift of Celibacy
[This is the second in a series of three posts on celibacy. The first was What Does Genesis 2:18 Really Teach?] I’m frustrated with a lot of the way many Christians talk about “the gift of celibacy.”...
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How is Gay Celibacy Different from Straight Celibacy?
[This is the third in a series of three posts on celibacy. The first was What Does Genesis 2:18 Really Teach? and the second was The Gift of Celibacy.] While on the topic of singleness and celibacy, I...
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Talking about Bicycles
One of the common criticisms of a traditionally Christian sexual ethic is that it forces a lot of gay people into involuntary celibacy, which some find very lonely, painful, frustrating. I want to...
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Why I Need Celibate Gay Christians
I was forced out of the closet by a phone call. A dear friend had confessed that she was struggling with attraction for a woman, but was trying to not act upon it because of her Christian faith. Our...
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Some Tools of Chaste Living: Introduction
A dear friend recently asked me: how do you pursue chastity in a celibate state? I realized that I have never really written much on this question, though it is deeply significant to the whole project...
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Some tools of chaste living: Friendship
I recently started a series of posts about graced realities which I have found to helpful in the pursuit of chastity, defined deeply as the mastery through grace of internal sexual desires and...
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Dorothy Sayers on Modernity’s Sexual Malaise
In her essay, “The Other Six Deadly Sins,” (collected in Creed or Chaos) Dorothy Sayers writes: There are two main reasons for which people fall into the sin of Luxuria [lust]. It may be through sheer...
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Sin and Sexual Minorities Part 4: Sins of Omission
In the previous post of this series, I discussed overt sins of word and deed, where the nature of the sin is doing something that we should not do. In this post, I will discuss one major sin of...
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A Place to Belong
I was on the basketball team at Wheaton my freshman year in college, and I imagine I’m one of the few players in the history of Wheaton College to sit out the second half of the season due to failing...
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Friendship Means “Living Each Other’s Death”
As I continue to work on my book on friendship, a project primarily for other celibate gay/lesbian/same-sex attracted Christians, I’m increasingly aware of the need to speak honestly about all the ways...
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Spiritual Friendship at Biola University
I spoke in a chapel service at Biola University last month on the themes of gay experience, Christian faith, and spiritual friendship. Here is the video: I gave a very similar talk at Calvin College...
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On the intoxicant of romantic love
I recently taught William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. A geologic epoch has passed since I first read the play, and I cannot remember my original response. What stands out now is my melancholic...
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Chris Damian on Marriage at Intercollegiate Review
The Intercollegiate Review has been running a series of posts about same-sex marriage as part of symposium called “Sex and the Polis: Perspectives on Marriage, Family, and Sexual Ethics.” Today, they...
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On Hospitality and Unstructured Time
I’m a little late to this party, but Meredith Schultz has a good piece over at Fare Forward on hospitality for and among millennials. At the end she offers a few suggestions for habits and postures...
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